Hurts so Good: The Painful Pleasure of Chillies

When I was running a medical research laboratory I was part of long running research project in Issan province in the north-eastern part of Thailand. One of the perks of working on this project was frequent trips to Thailand to work with Thai and American colleagues. My first visits were close to twenty years ago now and it became clear very quickly that my local Thai restaurants back in Brisbane had been lying to me, pulling their spice punches so to speak. On those first few trips eating actual Thai food in Thailand ended badly for me. Profuse sweating, face red like carpet burn, strong feelings of despair and, to put it politely, severe gastro-intestinal difficulties the following morning. The food was so hot. So, so hot. But, despite these difficulties I loved Thai food and I kept eating it. Over time I got better but not by much. Even now any public consumption of proper spicy food requires a good supply of napkins if I’m to get away with any dignity. But I don’t care I do it anyway.

I tell you this not for sympathy but to highlight the absurdity of humans eating chillies. Chillies are specifically designed to be toxic to mammals. The mammalian digestive systems destroys chilli seeds which is dead end as far as the chilli plants are concerned. What chilli plants want is for birds, whose digestive system is kinder, to eat their chillies and disperse the seeds far and wide propagating the next generation of chilli plants. So chilli plants made the chilli toxic to mammals and harmless to birds. The strategy almost worked. Birds eat chillies with zero side effects and all mammals avoid chillies like the plague. All mammals, that is, except one absurd, bloody-minded species¹. Yes I’m talking about us, humans did not take the hint, instead we made the toxic fruit of the chilli plant the foundation of some of out most popular cuisines. In a giant ‘screw you’ from humans to chilli plants, chillies are now one of the most consumed food stuffs on the planet. There’s no accounting for crazy.