For a Happier Life, We Must Balance Two Old Psychological Needs

Most of us know people who struggle to be happy despite having it all. I remember visiting my friend Steve after he struck it rich, and being blown away by his cushy existence. As I wandered through his extraordinary home, I told him that his life was over the top. Steve admitted that it seemed that way but then explained to me – with a straight face – that it really wasn’t. While I nibbled on his caviar and brie, I learned that the cook didn’t get along with the maid, he and his wife couldn’t agree on where to go on their next vacation, his daughter was waitlisted at the fancy kindergarten, and the list went on. By the time he finished, I felt so sorry for him that I offered to trade places, if only to sort out this vexing cook/maid problem.

At the time, I marvelled at Steve’s inability to see his own good fortune but, later, as I was reading Frank Marlowe’s wonderful book The Hadza: Hunter-Gatherers of Tanzania (2010), it occurred to me that I’m just like Steve. And so are you. Anthropological data suggest that we’re no happier (and possibly a lot less happy) than the remaining hunter-gatherers, who eke out a living much like our distant ancestors did. The comforts, safety and ease of modern existence make most of us the equivalent of multimillionaires by comparison with them, but our hunter-gatherer ancestors were probably happier than we are. How could that be?